does anyone ever wished they have amnesia in their life before? wanting to forget everything bout themselves, and bout everything that has ever happened to them in their life? sort of letting go of the past in an easier way...completely erasing and not losing all unwanted memories...i wish that could happen to me...when i wake up one morning, i'd be wondering who am i, where am i, having no memory of myself and the past...sometimesm i wish i would get into an accident as well...and losing my memory that way...in a way...i'd be starting a new life with a new person in me...
anyway...ysterday was a tiring day for me...went to hutan rekreasi for a picnic in spite of the haze with my church youths and 5 friends from my previous school, mhs. we had lotsa fun...well...i did..in the games, the message, the food...so happy to have 17 of us there including me...that is a big number to me...came back from the picnic, had lunch, walked around in the house a while, then went to sleep bout 1 something...when i woke up, it was 6 something...cool right? went for dinner with my mum, 2 sisters and my aunt at bout 7pm...went shopping till bout 10pm...came back..online..had a chance to put my psychology knowledge into use...and went to sleep at bout 1am...coz my dad scolded me for doing nothing on the computer till late at night.....^.^
well...youth prayer meeting will be starting tomorrow at 8pm in church...not really sure what to expect from it...but it is my prayer to invite the Holy Spirit there and just fill each of us up with His presence...experiencing God in His own special way...focusing on our church youths and our friends and schools....that will be a start for them...one of the aunt in church did say that it's high time the youth had a prayer meeting...and i thank God i'm in tune with Him on this....
being in tune for the Lord is what my life is all about since i came back from uni for the 3 months break...that is somehow my heart desire...to be in tune with Him, being more and more like Jesus, and sharing His love to everyone...
the name june(although my name is without the 'e') means to have a benevolent heart...i cant remember exactly what was the explaination for it but this is what i understand from it...i have a kind heart, always giving and i can never refuse the borrower...which i find is so true...yet it can be a burden at times..i enjoy helping my friends and giving what i have to them...but at times, when it's beyond what i can do...i still want to help which i cant...that is when i find it such a burden...to not being able to refuse the borrower or the needy...sometimes i wonder..is that good or bad?? till now...i'm seeking Him for answers as to how to be that person with a benevolent heart.
DAY 24 of fast....7 days left!!! it's been tough not being able to jam...but one thing that i realised yesterday at the picnic was this...what is the point for me to fast if after the fast i'll be the same jun addicted to music games and letting it take control over me and taking up my time?? it's pointless then for me to fast..the idea of fasting..is of course i mean business with Him on those 7 peeps in my life..but at the same time..it should also be a time for me to be released from this addiction...am i right?? well..i have 7 days left..i pray as i meditate on His word during my precious moments with Him..i'd be able to put that addiction at the altar letting Him be in control.
what's my plan for today?? after this, go cook maggi mee for lunch, stay home and do some research on depression since a close friend of mine is under depression, going out with her at night for a drink with my elder sis, and i guess that's bout it...nothing much...probably do some research too on dance therapy(a degree i might pursue later on after my first degree)....
* be strong and courageous *
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